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Blog EntryJOE D' MANGO'S LOVE STORY;)May 9, '08 2:11 AM
for everyone

Have you ever wondered what he does when he has his own love problems? Does he give advice to himself? Does he handle it very well?


Three Fridays ago, our guru on relationships, Joe D'Mango, read a letter to his wife on his popular radio program Love Notes. For the past 11 years, he had been giving advice to people who would write him letters about their personal problems. To the surprise of his listeners that Friday, instead of reading one of his usual letters, he read one that he had written himself to his wife Bing. Joe felt that he had to tell his listeners that even someone like him could go through a marital crisis, but that he survived it. Here's how his letter goes:

In our 11 years of marriage it was just the two of us. I never had a close circle of friends and she never had one either. Life for us was just "you and me," day in and day out. We were literally sleeping beside each other for 11 years. It came to a point that there was nothing more interesting to talk about. I was aware I was doing that but I never did anything about it. We were so close yet it seemed like we were so distant. Then came her new circle of friends.

They recently had an elementary and high school reunion. Remember her persistent suitor since elementary days? He was there. We already had four daughters and the guy had four kids of his own. They exchanged phone numbers. They started to text each other and this bothered me. A big part of it was insecurity and other part was that she once denied that she was texting the guy.

I felt bad because she started hiding things from me. Then the guy asked her if they could meet for lunch. It became a source of tension between us. I finally agreed, but before that, I told her that I felt that I was going through the same pain again. I have seen so many stories like this. If you told me the first part of the story, I would already know where it would lead to.

Bing accused me of being a "know-it-all" person. But deep in my heart, I knew where she was heading. Why would a married guy see a married girl unless it was for business or professional reasons? Finally, even if it was against my will, I drove her to the meeting place.

While I was waiting at the radio station, I wanted to call her but knew it wasn't proper. So I just waited for her to tell me how their meeting went.

When she related to me what happened I felt that she was keeping the other details. I was afraid to ask because I wasn't prepared to accept her answers. I told her that it would be best if that was their last meeting. She got mad and told me that I was starting to control her life.

The following day, I saw a small, torn piece of paper that had the words, "lose you" in the trash can at home. I started picking up the pieces of paper and putting them together. She had written: "Felt sad because I felt that this will be our last meeting." "Wanted to hug you..." Before I could figure out what the third one was, Bing was already at my back. She wanted to get the torn pieces of paper back. She said it was private property. We decided to talk.

By then, I was able to figure out the third line: "Not sure if afraid to lose you." She had crossed it out and beside it, she had written, "Wanted to cry."

That was what hit me.

How could you lose something that's not even with you yet? That was a confirmation that she was getting emotionally attached to the guy. We fought because she didn't want to admit it. She said that what she had written was all about friendship and not about love. For the first time in our marriage she asked for freedom from me. For 11 years we were always together, and now this.

She had discovered her own little world and wanted to explore it. I didn't want to give it to her but finally I gave in. I told her that she could do anything she wanted and not worry about how I would feel. In fact, I told her that I was planning to leave her and kids for a while so we could give each other the chance to be alone. We decided to give the new arrangement a try.

The following day, Thursday, I went to work early and she texted me. I never answered back. When I didn't respond, she called me. She said, "I'm sorry. I love you and I miss you." For the first time in our marriage I said, "I love you and I miss you too" with tears in my eyes.

I realized how much I loved her but I also knew how much she wanted her freedom. When I arrived at the station I asked for a leave. My boss advised me to think it over, but he said that he would allow me to go on leave. After letting it all out I felt relieved. It was the first time in my life that I asked for advice about our relationship.

While I was talking with my boss, a messenger arrived with 12 white roses arranged in a basket. It came from Bing. Then a text message on my cellphone came, "I know that no material things can ease the pain that you're feeling right now, but these flowers signify my pure and sincere intentions. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

Still, a question continued to bug me: "I'm giving you the freedom. Will you choose to stay or go on?" I read the card, and it had the answer to my question: "Dear Dad, I finally realized that I made a very big mistake in choosing a new-found friendship at the expense of our long-time friendship. Please forgive me. I wil always love you."

Bing called the guy and told him that she wanted to end the friendship. He said that they could just text or call each other. Bing said that there was no need.

We had dinner and talked up to 1 am. It was like getting married all over again. We lost each other and found our way back. I do not want to go through the same pain again.

Friday came and it was the first time in the history of Love Notes that I couldn't do Love Notes. I scheduled a replay. When I was at the station at 9 am, I composed a letter to Bing. I was asking myself, should I read this or do a replay? I chose to read the letter. It is not unusual to hear people say "I love you because...," but this story has shown us that the deeper and greater love is having to say "I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF..."

What hurts most?

...when you can't fight for that one thing that would make you happy...
...I may never be the guy you look forward to seeing every day...
...but I will always be the guy who will look out for you each and every day...



Sad Girl: "don't make me feel that i'm just a selfish jerk just because I made you cry!"

Sad Guy: "then don't make me feel like I did nothing for you when I almost died crying just to see you smile..."

Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And some ask ourselves: Will our actions echo across the centuries?

Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?


Love isn't when you can't sleep ... it's when you want to keep your eyes open...

Love isn't when you keep holding on ... it's when you learn to let go ...

Love isn't when you kill yourself with jealousy ... it's when you understand ...

Love isnt' when you fall for someone ... it's when you catch that person when he falls...

Love isn't when you see him everywhere ... it's when you close your eyes and he is still there ...

Love isn't when you tell him what you feel ... it's when you give everything for his sake...

And Love isn't when you think you were blind ... it's when you know he was wrong but you didn't mind!

 


18 CommentsChronological   Reverse   Threaded
christineangelique wrote on May 9
the story's long pero binasa ko talaga siya lahat and all i can say is...

AWWWW. :)
starrykaye wrote on May 9
the story's long pero binasa ko talaga siya lahat and all i can say is...

AWWWW. :)
HI TIN;) OO NGA MDYO MHBA;) PRO AT THE END...AWWWWW;) HAHHA;)
cargreenleaf wrote on May 9
HAHAHA! no way dude! seriously? hahaha! ay sorry..sad ba itong blog? title pa lang nababasa ko..hehe.. ü
cargreenleaf wrote on May 9
yes naman! drama mode..pero astig dude! ü akala ko naman naghiwalay sila ng wife niya..kasi sad naman kung ganun, I love happy endings..yehey..hehe! ü
starrykaye wrote on May 9
yes naman! drama mode..pero astig dude! ü akala ko naman naghiwalay sila ng wife niya..kasi sad naman kung ganun, I love happy endings..yehey..hehe! ü
HAHHA;) AMBAET NI JOE NOH;) NWLA N SYA S WAVE..LGUE KO P NMN SYA INAABANGAN;)
cargreenleaf wrote on May 9
HAHHA;) AMBAET NI JOE NOH;) NWLA N SYA S WAVE..LGUE KO P NMN SYA INAABANGAN;)
WALA NA SIYA SA WAVE? NO WAY! hehe o.a. minsan ko lang siya napakinggan..mushy kasi eh..hehe..pero oks lang rin.. ü
starrykaye wrote on May 9
WALA NA SIYA SA WAVE? NO WAY! hehe o.a. minsan ko lang siya napakinggan..mushy kasi eh..hehe..pero oks lang rin.. ü
OO HND KO ALM KNG NGCHNGE SYA NG TIME..PRO WLA N ATA TLGA..NMIMISS KO NGA..OH JOE..WER R YOU?;) OK OA AKO;P
starrykaye wrote on May 9
HAHAHA! no way dude! seriously? hahaha! ay sorry..sad ba itong blog? title pa lang nababasa ko..hehe.. ü
SAD PRO HAPPY ENDING DIN;)
cargreenleaf wrote on May 10
SAD PRO HAPPY ENDING DIN;)
gagawa na rin ako ng review..coming soon! haha! nonood muna ako ngayon ng movies, di pala ako masyado nakikinig sa radio ngayon puro MP3 pero dati fave ko Jam 88.3 inimpluwensyahan ako ni Ate Wilo..hehehe! ü
starrykaye wrote on May 10
gagawa na rin ako ng review..coming soon! haha! nonood muna ako ngayon ng movies, di pala ako masyado nakikinig sa radio ngayon puro MP3 pero dati fave ko Jam 88.3 inimpluwensyahan ako ni Ate Wilo..hehehe! ü
CGE CGE;) KINOPY KO LNG NMAN IBNG REVIEW;) S NET..MMM..AKO DIN;) PURO MP3..TPOS PNGT IPOD SHUFFLE..KXE RANDOM LNG PGSELECT..SO LIPAT LNG NG LIPAT..PRO OK LNG ATLEAST MRON;)
starzzz00008 wrote on May 10
ayos lang maganda heheheh unique . . . . gnun lang siguro talaga pag sobra may rebound effect hehehe
starrykaye wrote on May 10
ayos lang maganda heheheh unique . . . . gnun lang siguro talaga pag sobra may rebound effect hehehe
WOHOOOO..IKW KXE SI BING JAN EH;) HAHHA;P
cargreenleaf wrote on May 10
WOHOOOO..IKW KXE SI BING JAN EH;) HAHHA;P
hahaha! bing? yan ba si bing as in si bing? partner ni beau? hahaha! ü
cargreenleaf wrote on May 10
CGE CGE;) KINOPY KO LNG NMAN IBNG REVIEW;) S NET..MMM..AKO DIN;) PURO MP3..TPOS PNGT IPOD SHUFFLE..KXE RANDOM LNG PGSELECT..SO LIPAT LNG NG LIPAT..PRO OK LNG ATLEAST MRON;)
haha hay super hindi talaga ako techie..kahit ano oks lang..si Ate Wilo and Warren ung ma-echos sa ganyan..haha..super jologs ko talaga..ganun talaga iba ang mga likes natin like make-up and shoes and clothes..hahaha! ü normal pa rin tayo haha! ü
starrykaye wrote on May 11
hahaha! bing? yan ba si bing as in si bing? partner ni beau? hahaha! ü
OO NGA NOH;) HAHHA;P
starrykaye wrote on May 11
haha hay super hindi talaga ako techie..kahit ano oks lang..si Ate Wilo and Warren ung ma-echos sa ganyan..haha..super jologs ko talaga..ganun talaga iba ang mga likes natin like make-up and shoes and clothes..hahaha! ü normal pa rin tayo haha! ü
HAHHA;) SYMPRE MORE ON S FASHION TAU..HAHHA..F N F KO;) HND DN AKO TECHIE..PG MRON LNG E D SKA KO LNG PGAARALAN;)
cargreenleaf wrote on May 11
OO NGA NOH;) HAHHA;P
ahh ok..ehehehe! ü
cargreenleaf wrote on May 11
HAHHA;) SYMPRE MORE ON S FASHION TAU..HAHHA..F N F KO;) HND DN AKO TECHIE..PG MRON LNG E D SKA KO LNG PGAARALAN;)
totally! haha! ü
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